I just realized that

 nobody cares.

Excuse me.

    I am going to go scream in my car. :) 

A long time ago

     I used to be inspired. I used to be courageous. I used to give a fuck. What the hell happened? Why the hell am I in such mental turmoil that I cannot simply calm down. Everyone else is having a good time in life except for me and that is more than "not okay." That is terrible. Horrible. Dreadful. Disgusting.

Too many options.

 I am exasperated. So much so that it is taking a physical toll on my body. It freaks me out how often the phone ring-ring-rings and how much I pace-pace-pace, only to find the call is not for me. Why? Why am I not important enough to contact right now? I don't understand it. I hardly like it. I truly dislike not feeling important. If someone could contact me, just to say "hello?" I'd appreciate it. But right now, it's as if my life is suffering at the end of a rope. Burning to a crisp, with me along with it.